It's confirmed. My father has cancer and it doesn't look good for him. Tomorrow afternoon they are doing a scan to determine whether or not the cancer has metastasized. If it has not then there is a chance for a few years of decent life with chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor and remove it. If it has spread, then the options are much bleaker.
I am angry. I don't know why but I am so VERY angry. My father is such a good man. He has sacrificed his entire life for my brothers and I. He left his parents in Cuba for us - his siblings, his entire family. And to think that he will die like this makes me angry. Angry at life - angry at God. I don't want to feel anger, I want to accept God's will - whatever it is.
My father's illness will be a true test of my faith.
Don't stop that conversation with God about your Dad, his illness and your feelings, fears and hopes about it. I think God is big enough to understand when we are angry at Him and why we are angry, even when he is not responsible for the things we are mad about. I know He He loves us so much and is ready for us to grow in our understanding so we can be close enough for Him to strengthen us to fight ahead and comfort us when we need more hope.
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