Monday, December 28, 2009


My uncle, my dear, dear beloved uncle died on December 2nd, 2004 also from cancer. While visiting the cemetery to leave him some flowers, I realized that I, and I think most people, read the dates of birth and death of every plot we go by... oh, she was so young...

And I realized that the dates aren't what's important. What's important is the DASH. ADALBERTO VIGIL July 12, 1935 - December 28, 2009. His date of birth and death are not what matters. What we did with that dash - with the time between our birth and our death.. that is what really matters. It could be a short life or a long life... What matters is the dash.

My dad was an unbelievable man... he was a wonderful father, brother, son, friend...And the saddest thing for me? That I know for a fact that nobody, not my children, my husband, NOBODY will ever love me as totally and as unconditionally as he did.

I will miss my father every day of my life; and I will be grateful that he was my father and that his blood runs through my veins.


  1. Elena
    My heart cries for your loss. I rejoice that your beloved father is in a better place and he will patiently wait for his family to join him one day. You are a beautiful person because of him and his love for you.
    I will continue to pray for you and your family.
    Big Hugs

  2. Elena, your father is looking down on you from Heaven with pride and love. May you find comfort in the wonderful memories....and knowing that he is no longer suffering.
    My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

  3. And your children will say no one loves them as you have loved them. That is the way it should be I think. It doesn't matter if your dad had lived to 100; it still would have seemed too short a time. We don't want our parents to leave us ever! I am sorry for your loss and pain at this time. So glad you brought him home to die though. That is so much better for everyone than the hospital. I hope your brother comes to understand the morphine only shortened the dying time and not by much at that but it should have made your dad more comfortable.

  4. Elena, this is a beautiful photo of your father. Already you can see that he is looking down upon you. He is grateful for the decisions you made for him when it mattered the most. The love and respect you have for your Dad is wonderful, you can see it in the words that you write, the way you speak about him and the sacrifices he made to give you and your siblings a life you might not of had if he didn't make this choice. The days will be hard at first but will slowly get easier. As others have said you will speak to him and he will answer, it might not be noticeable at first, but you will do something that is so your Dad. That will be him answering. I am glad you were with him when he closed his eyes for the last time. Now he is at peace from this nasty disease.
    If I could fly over to give you a hug, I would. I just want this year to be over, too many people I know have died.
    Love and hugs to you and your family. XoX

  5. Elena, my dear dad died over 16 years ago, way too young, and I can tell you two things I know for sure: 1) you WILL be able to live a full and joyful life even with this loss, and 2) not a day will go by without your having thoughts about your father.
    And that blood you speak about, that runs through your will continue on, moving through the granddaughter that is coming in May. Your dad's legacy lives on, and always will.
    Peace to you and your family.

  6. So sorry about the loss of your dear dad. Your words touched me as I feel exactly the same way about my daddy (he died Dec 4, 2007). We should all take a lesson and live our lives to the fullest, for we are not promised another day here on earth. Blessings to you my friend...

  7. That is a beautiful thought. The dash! I am sorry to hear of your father's passing. As I had mentioned earlier, I went through the same thing when I was 48 and my dad passed of cancer too. Watching him practically shrink was more than I could handle. I quickly realized that he is much better off. No pain except what we carry in our hearts from missing him so much. It does get tolerable, so hang in there.
    Gentle hugs,Pat

  8. Many hugs and prayers coming your way. 'this too shall pass'

  9. Elena-
    What a wonderful picture of your Dad! It looks so familiar to me as if I knew him, but then in a way, I did through you! I know he was a great man because you are a great woman and I know he had a lot to do with that! Be at peace to know that he is no longer suffering and he is happy and feeling no pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my dad when I was only 25, but he and all the wonderful memories have never left me as I know yours will not leave you! Cherish the memories and celebrate his life! With love, Marita

  10. Elena,
    I wish there were something magical that I could say or do to lift the pain from your heart, yet, that pain is made possible by the deep love you shared with your dad. There is always Ying and Yang... he is in a better place, away from the trappings of human life. He is watching over you. Praying for you and your family. Hugs Jacquie