Saturday, December 26, 2009


He is still holding on. Sittng by his bedside, the infamous "death rattle" getting louder and louder it feels like you just can't take it any more. You KNOW you will never forget that sound... the sound of death. But you sit there and you hold his hand and you continue to speak to him. The critical care nurses tell us that his hearing is the last to go. Yesterday he did not speak a word but he opened his eyes when he heard my voice or that of my brothers. We talk to him, tell him it's okay for him to go... that we are okay... that we will miss him but that we want him to go. Fearful that telling him those words will cause more anxiety in him, terrified that if we DON'T say those words he will feel alone. Just don't know what the right answer is.

1 comment:

  1. oh Elena, your words bring back memories. I,too,told my Dad it was ok to go...I told him that I would be ok and that Mom was waiting for him..I just kept telling him that I loved him............
    whatever you choose to say,it is the right comes from your heart and love. the best words are the feelings of the heart...
    you will remember the love,happiness and good...the sounds of dying will fade..I too thought I'd hear it forever,but the sound of my Dad's voice and laughter in my mind and heart has replaced the other.