SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT

This made me smile in an otherwise horrible day. Hope it does the same for you. Maybe this exemplifies what I've always believed "LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS... IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN". Well, it's "raining" very hard in my life right now.... I need to figure out how to dance.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE

It's been a rough week. My dad had his 2nd chemo on Wednesday. He has been steadily degenerating and losing so much weight. He no longer has any muscle tone in his arms or legs; he has difficulty walking. It is staggering to see what this disease has done to him in so short a time. There are still many things to give thanks for - I haven't forgotten that - but with my dad on his way to the emergency room as I write this... it's hard to think about anything else.

I am posting a picture of my father taken about a year ago. He looks nothing like this now. He looks like he is 100 years old. But this man that you see here is my father. A wonderful father. A man who left everyone he every knew or loved - his ENTIRE family - without exception - to bring my brothers and I to the United States knowing he would never see his family again (he was never able to see his father again but when the flights to Cuba opened he did get to see his mother before she died). He spent his first sunrise in the United States washing plates in a kitchen in New Jersey. What a sacrifice he made for us! Only now as an adult, when I think about what he did do I realize the magnitude of his sacrifice.

My dad was always very strict. Edwardian strict!! I was not allowed to drive (women do not need to drive -men will take them where they need to go) and only got my driver's license after I got married! I was not allowed to wear jeans, ankle bracelets, makeup.... you name it. I was not allowed to go to movie theaters or "out' with friends. No such thing in my household! There were two telephones in my house, one in the kitchen and one in my parent's room. I was not allowed to sit down while I was on the phone because I would not be on the phone long enough to need to!

It was tough being his daughter in the 70's when everyone else got to do anything they wanted. It was TOUGH to take my MOTHER to my high school prom as my chaperone because that was the only way he would let me go. It was RIDICULOUS when my former husband and I had to take my grandmother with me THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING to make changes to the flower arrangements for the wedding (even though we had been married civilly for days!) because I was not allowed to be alone with him until AFTER the wedding! Yep! It was tough and I admit there were days I wanted to STRANGLE him! But from him I learned about loyalty and love for your family, about decency and self respect. About protecting those you love even against themselves.

I know that everyone feels their dad was the "best" dad in the world. Allow me this moment to share with you that this man, this very humble man who worked as a mechanic since he was 10 years old, who gave everything he ever had to his children is the best man I have ever known.

PLAY DATE TODAY

I had a play date today with Patty and Linda - my scrapbooking buddies. I love these play dates and totally enjoy their company. They are both fantastic ladies and it's my privilege to call them my friends.

I actually did got some scrapbook layouts done today!! Woo HOO!! I'm about a year and half behind on my scrapbooking. It seems like journals and mixed media art take up all my time now.

Anyway, I worked on two of the JOURNAL OF DREAMS. I have Sue's here and finished hers. I also did a page for Gina even though I have not yet received her journal. Might as well get a head start right??

These are the two pages for the journals.

I also did 4 "mini cards" for a swap on The Sum of All ATCs group. They are the size of atc cards. They were quick and easy. They will be on their way to Lori on Monday.

JOURNAL PAGE FOR TRACY

Tracy and I are participating in the round robin journal JOURNAL OF DREAMS. Basically each artist makes one page in each person's handmade journal of dreams!

This is the page I made for Tracy. It's just fun and humorous and knowing Tracy she will get a kick out of it. I drew the woman ( be NICE now!! I'm NOT an artist!! LOL!!!) and used acrylic paints, sharpies, pan pastels, oil pastels and jelly roll pens on it so it was a lot of fun.

The pages is very large and didn't fit in the scanner so the bottom (which is cut off) says:

Look at it this way.... if you HAVE the chance to ride around in a new MERCEDES BENZ or your old reliable Honda...

WHAT WOULD YOU RIDE IN?

(And I'm not talking about cars!!)

The Journal will now travel to Heather in the UK!!

A blog award!

My friend Tracy gave me this award on Monday. Tracy is not only a great artist but a great friend. I meet tons and tons of people in my profession and my life. Very rarely do I "connect" with someone the way I did with Trac. Although we had been on-line buddies for a long time, we actually "met" in July at Teesha Moore's PLAY retreat. I am so glad she went. Tracy is more of a vintage/dreamy artist - Zetti is not really her thing. She went because I asked her to and I am so glad she did. From the moment we met it was like we had known each other all of our lives. She is an incredible person and you guys should stop by and "meet her" on her blog at www.tracykaufman.blogspot.com. You will love her as much as I do.

Anyway, the idea behind this award is to pass it on to five other fun blogs and to write 5 things about yourself. So here goes:

1. I am blessed with a great husband, 4 children and a beautiful granddaughter who has me wrapped around her finger. Anyone who knows me at all knows my family comes before anything.

2. I am not really an "artist". I don't have any real talent and have to work hard to accomplish what I want. I just love art and love to play. I am always amazed at the wonderful work my friends do and learn from them every day.

3. I absolutely hate pettiness, bigotry and biasness. I have absoltuely no tolerance for it.

4. I am quite outspoken when I need to be. Nobody who has any contact with me can ever say they don't know where I stand on something. I make myself pretty clear!

5. I love the ocean... being near it... looking at it... smelling it... it relaxes me and makes me feel whole... but I can't get on a boat without getting TOTALLY seasick!!!

Now to go pass this fun award to five other bloggers!!!

MY FIRST ZENTANGLES!!!

I have always been enthralled by Zentangles. They are just so very cool. Last year I ordered a Zentangle Kit to learn how to make them. Well, after a year of the kit sitting on my shelf I finally decided to try it yesterday. I wanted to do SOMETHING but wasn't feeling very artistic so figured I'd try my hand at them.

These are my very first zentangles! I loved it. It was really fun and relaxing. I wasn't sure I could do them but there you go!

THE KINDNESS AND LOVE OF MY SOUL SISTERS HUMBLES ME

I belong to several online art groups. I have enjoyed the friendships I've gained in these groups and have learned so much from all the talented women I come in contact with daily. But I am truly humbled by the love and kindness of all these women. I am amazed at the amount of "hugs" I have received from my online friends. I don't have the words to express how it has helped me in the past few weeks - and if you know me at all, you know I am never short on words.

I have had weeks to process my father's imminent death. Weeks to tamper down panic that has prevailed since my father's diagnosis on October 12th. My brother said something to me last week that really hit me. He said, "you know what we are doing right? We are already mourning him". And then it hit me. Like a truckload of concrete blocks. I am so busy mourning my father that I am losing sight of the time I have with him. Whether it's 2 months, 6 months or a year, I have made a conscience decision not to mourn him until I have to. I want to be able to use my time with him to let him know how loved he is. How proud I am to be his daughter. Time to ask him all the questions that I have never asked him before. To journal and write about all the family stories that he will take with him. I know it's easier said than done but I owe him that. I owe myself that.

And to all of you who drop by to say "hi" and to ask how he is.. thank you. Thank you so much. I have received dozens and dozens of cards, letters and emails from my "art community" family and they have made me realize that losing one single day with my dad will be such a waste.

I will also sit down in my studio this week and do what has always made me feel better... play with paper, paint, glue... well, I KNOW you guys understand me.

Hugs.

ANGELS WERE AT OUR SIDE TODAY

My father had his first chemo today. I have no words to express the fear we felt last night anticipating the worst today. They did not give him a full dose of the chemo because of the concerns they had of him not being able to tolerate it. But he did exceptionally well. He's had no negative reaction as of yet to the treatment and was talkative and in good spirits all day today.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and your prayers. I know he can't be cured of this insidious disease, but if we can just have him for a little while longer in relatively good health and quality of life we are very grateful.

Angels held his hand today and I thank God for this.