Thursday, May 15, 2014

This and That

So here I am, having my first cup of coffee with 2 hours sleep.  Could be worse I guess, I happen to love coffee and am sitting on my second floor porch overlooking the water in my new house.  It would just be nice to get some sleep.

I need to learn how to turn off my brain.  There is a major coup going on up there!  The move to the new house has been mentally draining - a long time coming.  Just couldn't afford the previous house any more.  The house was 5300 square feet and I have no little kids!  7 bedrooms for two people was ludicrous.  Of course when we bought it we had 4 kids at home so it was different.  Then it works out where not only do you have your adult kids living with you but they bring their significant others too!  So here you are supporting a bunch of adults who don't work because they have no need to!  They get up in the afternoon - stretch, work out, eat all the food, make a mess in your house. And where are YOU????  Working your ass off to support them!!!  Couldn't do it any more.

So now we are in a "normal" sized home overlooking the water and, frankly, I have come to love it already.  Felt strange at first, felt so small..... but it is perfect.  I have a huge studio downstairs which is independent from the house and is absolutely perfect.

The new firm?  It's going well.  I really love my partners and our staff.  I love the work we are doing - it's not only the cases but the CAUSES as well.  It's giving me time to do things I really believe in instead of running around trying to clone myself all the time.  Now, if only the finances would follow!! I am making so much less money now than I used to.

Don't get me wrong, I make a very decent income - but I used to make substantially more.  I don't think I really NEED more.  What I need to do is  simplify my life and change my spending habits!  I have never had to wait to buy anything.  I heard about, saw or thought of something and just bought it.  Every new stamp, paint, doo dad and machine!  Now, I can't do it that way.  I have to be more careful.  And I am shallow enough to admit that I HATE it.  So that's part of my journey right now.  Learning to be more mindful of what I spend.  I hate even TYPING that.

My son is doing better.  Still on his journey, still struggling against his demons, but better.  He is such a good man with a heart of gold. I would do anything to wave a magic wand and make his life perfect.

All these things keep me up at night.  And my Kindle on my nightstand probably doesn't help.  I have nights when I read an entire book instead of sleeping.  Not a good thing.

I still have about 30 boxes to unpack in my studio (better than the original 67!).  Maybe that is part of the problem - my studio is my therapy.  Art journaling and just throwing paint on canvas relaxes me.  It's my Zen spot.

That is such a great explanation for all this!  I just have to find my ZEN!!!

(That's my story and I'm sticking to it)

1 comment:

  1. You're on the right path. Sounds like all you need is sleep! Try some of the suggestions the other ladies already made the other day. They work! Love you.